2/6/12

surrender

 [suh-ren-der] v. 

1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another;deliver up possession of on demand or under duress

2.  give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.)

Yesterday a friend encouraged me. I'm starting to think about this man more and more throughout my day, and I desire to be around him more and more. It's really hard and it scares me because I'm constantly thinking about other relationships that I've been in and how this one compares/contrasts. It's almost embarrassing just typing this all out, but this is the mind of a woman, I suppose!


I thought about him a lot today, and I want to talk with him, but I refuse to text him/call him/e-mail him or ANYTHING. I've been praying for him to have wisdom and discernment, and so I'm going to trust that God is moving him to move whenever he needs to with the details of our friendship. 


It was so encouraging though yesterday seeing how he sees opportunities to be with people who need Jesus. He met a guy at church yesterday and was going to spend some time with him to share his faith with this guy. That's the best "excuse" for not hanging out that I'd ever accept! It also reminded me of how I really admire that I will never be his "everything." He values the Gospel over one evening joking and laughing and talking with a girl. I love that.


My friend told me this feeling I'm experiencing- that I desire him more than I want to be desiring him right now, is a signal that this is a time of "uncomfortable surrender." Whatever God desires for this friendship is what will happen! I am learning to surrender this friendship to whatever He wants!


Life Change Week is happening at the middle school today, and I'm just so encouraged by what is happening and I'm just honored to be a part of it! I'm praying for the students and praying for a big work to be done in their lives! I want to see the bigger picture with them, that one day they will be parents, future teachers, businessmen/women, etc.!


One elementary school teacher recommended me for the 8th grade position to the administrator. I'm going to talk to the principal of the H.S. and tell him that I'm interested in the position, etc. I'm so excited and I just have a great peace about whatever happens. EVERYTHING is in the Lord's hands.


Today I was really frustrated with all the talking in class, it's really hard to teach when it's such a crazy week. it's like a Friday every day! I need more patience and discernment with how I manage the classroom. 


"For you are great, you do wondrous things! You ALONE are God,
Teach me your way, O Lord,
that I might walk in your truth
Unite my heart to fear your name!" 
There's this song that is just Psalm 86, and it's just so beautiful to think about that!


Also, 2 Corinth 12:8-10... It never occurred to me that when I'm weak God IS strong and is glorified! 


Lord, you rejoice in my weaknesses, You love to be the strong hero! Help me to be silent with you and cultivate an undivided heart to fear your name! To see you how I need to see you right now at this moment!


I love you, Sweet Abba!