2/3/12

un·der·stand

  [uhn-der-stand] n., v.

1. to have knowledge or background, as on a particularsubject: He understands about boats.

Random schedules, questioning about how much time I spend with Aaron and when I'm the only girl. Lots to consider. I think that I just want a black and white thing when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. It's soo hard to be friends with someone when you had a 12 hour 'date' with them. However, I learned last night that I really just like the idea of having a relationship with him, not necessarily HIM. I still don't know enough about him, so that's what is keeping me sane right now.

Whatever is true....

The Lord has been so good to me. I've learned so much about teaching and just about His grace. I run to him to find peace and rest... Today I cracked open Proverbs 19 because I saw a little thing on my calendar about "A man desires unfailing love." And that just sounded too good to be in the Bible, and here's the context:

 ²⁰ Listen to advice and accept discipline,
   and at the end you will be counted among the wise.

 ²¹ Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
   but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

 ²² What a person desires is unfailing love^[b];
   better to be poor than a liar.

 ²³ The fear of the LORD leads to life;
   then one rests content, untouched by trouble.

One study Bible says that "unfailing love" is really "loyalty" We want loyalty. That's the truth. I think God's been showing me more about my identity in Him. He is ALWAYS in love with me, but only because he is in love with His son, Jesus. No matter how I feel, no matter how I think I've done today, He still loves me unconditionally. I have definitely tried to place what I think about myself at the same level as what Christ thinks of me! How ridiculous! Colossians 1:27- the mystery: Christ in me, the HOPE of GLORY! I am glorified in Christ, I bring Him glory! If you think I'm being selfish, I feel bad for you, because you have not experienced what it is like to live in the unconditional love of the almighty God.

I think this little passage from Proverbs really sums up a lot about my life right now. Proverbs 3 says to not lean on your own understanding. God knows everything about me, and everything that will be. His purpose prevails. Fearing Him brings LIFE. I have a full life when I view God as he ought to be viewed!

So teaching today was very exhausting! I think I OVER-taught. I want to remember today for a long time, because I was so exhausted and I realized it was because I just had planned to do too much. All day I was adjusting the lessons because I needed everything to fit flawlessly in order to get all of it done, and that's just crazy! Teaching a lesson is NEVER flawless!

My supervisor had a lot of great compliments and wisdom. She said I should slow down when it comes to reading a passage- let them soak it in. I definitely needed to slow down with it, but I knew we had things to do the second hour of the day so I couldn't NOT get everything done. ahh so crazy!

But, now I know... NEVER plan that much again!! haha. I guess I won't have too much of a problem ending class too early ;) 

My ct also mentioned about me teaching here, she said 'is there an opening here?' she also said that as she walked in 3 people in the office said they loved me! What a blessing :) I love when God lets you in on little secrets like that. It seriously just made my day. I really feel like I belong there. But, today is today, and while I'm student teaching I'm giving this "4 month job interview' all I've got!! 

Better start planning for "The Miracle of Mod Podge!" 

I love you and your steadfast love, Father. Keep it pouring down on me, Abba!