rev·e·la·tion/ˌrevəˈlāSHən/ n.
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Last night I applied for the PCS job online, and I became overwhelmed at the kind of questions they were asking me. I immediately switched into "I have to be perfect" mode and then the Lord used that man to show me that character shines brighter than a piece of paper. If this man can see my passion and love for the kids, then the people at PCS can see that too, and especially the students. Today we don't have school because of a water main break. I was sort-of bummed about not having school because I really wanted to be with the kids. That's really silly I'm sure, but it's the truth. HOWEVER. God revealed so much to me today! Last night in my talk with the man, he was telling me that when we think of God's will, sometimes we think it should be hard, and we won't get our desires because God gives what He knows is best for us. But what if his best for us is what we want?! Woah!
I asked God a serious question- Who are you?! The job at PCS just seems "too good," "too loving," and "too perfect." But He is all of those things!
I was humbled at how I was viewing God in such a way that is not who He is at all. I have neglected to see God as FIRST a Father, and then good, just, loving, kind, etc. If he is not my Father, I turn toward myself for salvation, I seek to strip away what I want and desire because that's what God wants from me. NO!!! Beloved, do not get into this trap!
I broke down and cried this morning because I was reading in Psalm 103:
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him
and in Deuteronomy 32:
10 In a desert land he found him,
in a barren and howling waste.
He shielded him and cared for him;
he guarded him as the apple of his eye,
I am the child who sprinted down the hall with tears in her eyes into the open arms of the One who had been waiting for me with tears in His eyes. It feels so good to be home again.
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