1/19/12

e·quip  (-kwp)

tr.v. e·quipped, e·quip·ping, e·quips

  1. To supply with necessities such as tools or provisions
  2. To furnish with the qualities necessary for performance:

English teacher, mentor, follower, teacher of the word, lover, encourage-r, trainer, leader, director...
I do not feel equipped for any of these, and I am supposed to be all of them. This Saturday is our retreat "2:22 on 1/21" and I am doing a portion of a talk on modesty: Doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it. I'm really excited, but for some odd reason I also signed up to talk to the boys about questions they may have about girls. I have the questions they asked and I think "I don't even know why I do this, but I do!?" I have no idea how to answer them, and I'm supposed to "prepare scriptural evidence" for my answers. I do not feel equipped.


The man who asked me to coffee/dinner/lunch has been texting me more and more lately about random silly things. I absolutely love it, but hate it at the same time. Michele said that I am trying to control it and to try to make this man come on my terms: which would be not now. I want to know what his intentions are, why is he doing this, what Michele calls a "DTR" talk (Determine the Relationship for those who have not attended a christian school at ANY point in time). 
She's right. I'm really being silly about all of this, but I can't help it. I don't want to invest time and then later on think "I could have invested it better." but then Michele said that's regrets and God always allows us to learn through them. 
I guess I want to walk in wisdom in this friendship. yeah, that's right... FRIENDSHIP. I have already taken it to the next level without getting to know him that much. So much in my head, but this man is definitely in my head. 


Here's what I do know:
He knows and loves the Lord and His word.
He has a biblical perspective on God's will.
He is a leader in the church.
He is a teacher of the word.
He is quiet, but strong in what he does say.
He can make me laugh at the drop of a hat. 
He is not manly in the sense that he works out, is a super good handyman, could fix a car, or make steak.
He wants to get to know me.


There it is. That's it. I think there is a lot more that I need to know before I can clearly see what God is trying to do here.


Lord, I want to trust you. I want to be led by you. I want you to lead that man however You have it planned. I want to obey you and trust you. Give me patience, give me strength.


Psalm 121:5
The LORD watches over you --
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;


Psalm 61:2c
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.


Psalm 32:7
You are my hiding place; 
   you will protect me from trouble 
   and surround me with songs of deliverance.


Oh LORD, you are such a shelter! Christ is in me, He is the one who is equipped, not I.

Guide my steps according to your word. I am humbled at your feet. I want to pour out all my best on your beautiful, worthy feet.